I have excellent news to report, dear supporter,
As I speak to you, I am already confident and aware that Glorious, our much removed ‘Chief Outdoors Correspondent’ may already be airborne and heading by jet-propulsion along the air ways speeding through the atmosphere, inbound to Blighty.
The grand tour and his experiences of the Southern Hemisphere have reached a satisfactory conclusion, and brought his expedition, for him I sense sadly, to an end.
Editor’s Note (His return is the cause of much rejoicing in this place)
In two hastily sent electronic communications delivered to the office today, Glorious reports upon his latest (and final) passage.
There is an explanation, at some length, of the strain upon his skeleton and other parts caused by the intenseness of the climactic differences experienced between his departure from the temperate South Island of the ‘New Zealand’ land, and his celebrated arrival into the V.hot and V.humid atmosphere that is prevalent in the Republic of Singapore, sovereign city-state and island nation.
Glorious explains the emergency measures necessary to take to maintain a reasonable level of existence whilst in southern East Asia.
Apparently he was forced initially to take refuge in the Long Bar at Raffles Hotel, where copious quantities of a liquor he describes as ‘Singapore Sling’ were consumed in an effort to keep body temperature at sensible levels whilst warding off a dose of ‘Malay Peninsular Madness’, (MPM), which I understand is not uncommon amongst ‘Johnny Foreigner’ in that part of the world.
I have the documented evidence to support:
A second, more urgent report was received, which documents his vain attempts to gain relief from the threat of MPM. The perception that this affliction had firmly taking hold seems to be in some way connected to the volume of Singapore Sling he quaffed in the mistaken belief it was the antidote.
In such a state of undoning, the idea that the coolness of higher atmospheres became alluring. That I understand resulted in an unplanned trip via a rather ‘flighty’ lifting apparatus which conveyed our hero upward at high velocity to a summit position upon the 56th floor, which turned out to be the observation deck, of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel .
This plan was not, I have to report, a success. Indeed to quote Glorious verbatim, “I mistakenly thought it would be cooler at that altitude Echo, – but it was still jolly hot”.
The sudden end to his report was I understand, not due to the onset of MPM, but merely the fear that his onward mode of travel would not allow him the opportunity to select his own moment of departure. Modern aeroplane transportation can be extremely lacking in this area I find.
Thanks to his monumental efforts over the duration of his ‘jolly’, Glorious has provided his loyal readership with prompt dispatches always of an unfailing high standard. They have comprehensively documented the exploits of the ‘Chief Outdoors Correspondent’, as he has journeyed throughout the southern Hemisphere. We sincerely hope a significant level of readership approval has been attained.
Glorious has met fully the standards expected from those who have the privilege to report upon the outdoors lifestyle for this publication, and for that we are truly grateful. Perhap Amen is appropriate at this point!
Echo Sweetly BV
Proprietor and Editor, A Gentleman Adventurer’s Chronicle